4 -- Seeing the world differently

I found a rental chair on the street outside the Mezem and because I didn’t want to be going away from the arena I didn’t insist the carriers run. It was very strange, as if I had somehow changed profoundly inside less than the fall of a single bead in the clock and could see the city through new eyes. I would have to go talk it over with my other best friend, the no longer living one, just to make sense of it. The chair bearers trotted up toward the Lion Bridge taking me home to the Marble Palace, the eagle on the cliff shining in the sun.

It was like the city was washed clean somehow. I leaned forward and tapped the lead bearer. “Let me off at the Temple.” And then I thought of what Raikas had said. “Please.”

The man bobbed his head to show he had acknowledged my order. When I added the courtesy he almost stumbled but was too much a professional to do anything that might make his passenger uncomfortable. That was interesting. Simple words with more power than I had known. Please. I would have to find out how strong a Thank you would be when I got down.

The senior Mahid in my escort was paying more attention to me now. I somehow knew it, even if he didn’t turn his eyes or head in my direction. I had the feeling my father would hear about this change in my behaviour before I got all the way into my room in the depths of the palace.

Yeolis were athye and thus godless. They were even proud of it. Of course my father didn’t believe in the gods either, even though he was the Head of the Church and the link between Selestialis -- the home of the Gods and the blessed dead -- and the living.

I wondered if my new friend would like to see the Temple. Perhaps I could convert him. When I got down from the chair, rather than command the bearers be paid I pulled a chain off my own neck and handed it to the kneeling lead bearer. “You did well. Thank you. You needn’t wait.” I didn’t particularly care which money chain I pulled. It was a gold one and both chair bearers nearly fell over, eyes wide round, mouths open.

The man took the chain, his hand shaking. He put his hands on the ground in the half-prostration to the Heir though he didn’t need to; it was almost a collapse. It wasn’t a formal occasion where the genuflection was required, but both of them offered it to me. I found that I liked that nobody had to tell them to do it. It seemed that thank you was just as powerful as please.

They held it for a moment longer and I turned away to get up the steps to the Temple door. It was open as it was always supposed to be, the golden doors towering over my head triple the height of a tall man. The scent of beeswax candles and the Ten harmonized incenses rolled out around me as I climbed. Even if my father was right and the Gods were only statues and rituals to control the masses, the Temple always made me feel better.

Beyond the doors the wide fans of golden marble floor marking each caste’s level with their own God and Goddess on either side spread before my feet. I stepped up onto the first level and passed by Imbas and Anae, the slave gods, without a look. I was about to step up to the next level between Oas and Mella when I slowed down and stopped to look up into each of their faces as I passed, not even knowing why I was seeing things differently somehow today. Rather than stamp straight up to Muunas and Selinae’s level which was the highest and most beautiful, with the vast Throne of the God straight out the doors, his Wife off to the left, I stood near the doors and looked at the perfectly straight river of gold tile up the middle.

Risae, the fessas goddess was beautiful but cold and the fessas god Mikas always frightened me because he looked sly, like he was about to play a big joke. I was aware of them to either side of me. The rank of Gods loomed to the right and the Goddesses to the left, the ranks of pews arced out on either side on the fringes of each dais with a huge open space between the Divine couples.

The only exception was Muunas. His face loomed over all the other Gods, straight down at me where I stood on the golden tiles flowing from his feet. Rather than stamp up and sit at Selinae’s feet as I usually did I stood and looked up at them all, not sure what I felt.

The choir started “A Forceful Bastion is Our God,” the streaming sun shone down on the God’s head through the sun-slit, making His marble head gleam gold. I found myself affected in a way that I couldn’t explain but I stood there and listened until the end and when they had finished the last soaring note I felt my chest squeeze tight. I felt like the song hugged me the same way Karas Raikas did. It was too much and I turned and ran out, back down the steps and all the way across Presentation square.

I ran up to and through the Steel Gate, barely seeing my Mahid trotting smoothly behind. I was out of breath already and they weren’t even breathing hard. They fell back as I went inside, their duty discharged to the palace detail.

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