Wednesday, February 16, 2011

438 - A Tell-All Book Deal

I am dancing with a flame.  I catch the strand of sunfire in my arms and we are dancing a falisas. I am worried that I cannot dance well enough and it stiffens me, and I stumble and trip right over into the fire.
It washes around me and vanishes and I tumble into darkness.  I fall and and fall and fall and I cry out but there is no air.  A silver disk grows in my sight, the Goddess’s Eye but it gets bigger and bigger until it fills my sight.
I tumble in my fall and the disk is above me now as if I were somehow whirled around and flung down falling back toward... the Earthsphere.  It is a blue and white marble out of a child’s box.  If I am dreaming of the Gods then Aras should be ne—
I am snatched out of my fall and tucked under a massive arm.  “Don’t try and second guess the Gods, boy.” It is Mikas and he is in an enormous faibalitz bowl, holding me like a disc.  He skates silently, no clicking of wheels or rumble of hard rubber.  His face... I can see His face and He winks at me as He floats up in a perfect flip shot, His feet flinging us up over the edge of the bowl and He hurls me toward Kyriala, who is somehow wearing skates and on my team.  Benthasas Mennon leaps up and intercepts me, flings me to Adamas Kallen.
Kallen  hurls me down the bowl and I can see the opposing goal isn’t a normal slot.  It’s the edge of a heading axe.
I was caught by the bed, flung out of the dream.  I was sleeping alone again, down in Anoseth, the unseasonable rainstorm keeping me grounded. If tomorrow wasn’t flying weather I’d hire a space on the stagecoach back to the city.  From Anoseth it was almost as fast.
The dream made it obvious that I was worried about the election, no surprise there.  I was scared I was going to mess things up, that’s what I thought the Muunas part was... and Mikas?  Who knew about the trickster god?
Kyriala and Monnen... my jealousy of the man was not right. If he offered for her, she should be free to choose him, if she wanted him. I had no rights over her.  I was her friend.  And the opposing goal being a headsman’s axe, well, that was obvious.
I got up and opened the window over the city and the port, and rubbed my eyes.  I wasn’t going to sleep again immediately and the self sex thing was right out of the question.  I turned around and realized I had enough room at the end of the bed to do each separate God for the Ten Tens if I limited my arm movements and pulled in the sweeping motions.
That would help me get to sleep.  I prostrated myself and started. Don’t try and second-guess the Gods, boy.
Saddled with Kazien? What people are thinking
by Tiraias Sentas fessas, Pages Staff Writer

Your intrepid writer, always keen to display the mood of the city, went out upon the streets of Arko and asked these questions:
"Pardon me Ser/a/in/a, but I'm doing an article for the Pages, finding out what Arkans generally think of Kin Immen Kazien's sexual predilection."

"So what is your opinion of his... habit?"

"And how do you think the discovery of it will influence his prospects of being elected Imperator?"  I obtained a number of thoughtful responses…
Falusas Skoras, fessas said...
"I'm not surprised in the slightest. The moral fibre of Arkan society has been rotting from the top for at least a hundred years, as our Aitzas allow themselves to sink deeper and deeper in a slimy morass of corruption and degeneracy. Why do you think we fell to the barbarians? This is nothing. I've heard stories of Aitzas doing it with house-donkeys, chickens, melons, even slow-moving tubs of cottage cheese. Horses? Faugh. Old gloves."
Iin Sar Sotzetrin, Aitzas said...
"I happen to know Ser Kazien personally, and I assure you, he is an honest and honourable gentleman and would make a fine Imperator. What a nobleman does in the privacy of his own manor is his business, and his alone. It has no bearing on the performance of any public office he might hold. In my opinion the worst blight upon Arkan society is the unprecedented prevalence of scurrilous publications, read by lower classes and those of the weaker-minded sex -- people who have no business being literate at all! -- who slaver over any perceived scandal and want nothing so much as to bring down one of their betters."

Lora Sanetas, sola said...
"I wasn't going to vote for Kim Immen Kazien as Imperator, but now I am, absolutely. The worst flaw afflicting Imperators throughout the history of Arko has been lack of humility. Ser Kazien will never have that trouble, as long as he lives.
Akatzen Sammas, fessas, said...
"Look, I don't care about Kin Kazien's predilection or prospects, I just want you miserable hacks to quit with the puns! O my little professional God, I've never seen such an orgy of verbal bottom-feeding in my entire life! Don't you people have bun-fights to cover, whereby you could raise the level of the national discourse?’
Merakas Hammen, solas, said...
"Look, I think Ser Kazien should bow out of the election. That would simply be horse sense. Hahahahahahahaha! I know that one's good enough to go in the paper! Make sure you spell my name right, M, E, R, A, K..."
Several foreigners declined comment, though with high good humour.
Tirikar Ririasaj, Enchian, said...
“What you Arkans will do to yourselves and your poor animals!  Honestly.”
Ninema Risten, Aitza said...
"My opinion? Disgusting. Sinful. And I should hope no one would dream of voting for the shameless scoundrel. You think everyone's laughing now? Imagine how the barbarian races would laugh and sneer at such an openly ridiculous Imperator! He demeans us all, before the ten and all earthsphere!"

Jyanina Veravenga, Yeoli said...
Atziras Mutas, okas, said...
Don' know mucha this. 'S pretty funny tho. This 'un ain't votin' fer no horse's ass, nor asses’ horse, neither.
I came in on the stagecoach from Anoseth, tired, jostled, and not in a good mood.  Kallijas would be back later tonight, since the rain had faded once we got away from the coast.  He would be up at the Marble Palace and tomorrow morning we had scheduled training – he was still being gracious enough to teach me – and then a breakfast with the Guildmasters.
It was the last two eight-days before the election and I had to take some time to visit my mother.  The Kazien Horse scandal wasn’t showing any signs of fading yet.  People had a lot more plays on words to get out of their system, and at an Aitzas, at that.  One whom, it was now coming out, was not the best, nor easiest of masters.  His valet had just signed a tell-all book deal about working for the Kaziens.


  1. Lol, you really didn't have to leave Veravenga's comment in there, lol. You didn't ask for Yeoli opinions, after all, and you already said several friegners declined comment with high good humor. XD

  2. Of course I did. It was perfect. And I liked it, so there!

  3. I was reading with a pretty straight face until I go to ....

    Jyanina Veravenga, Yeoli said...

    At that point I lost it and started laughing all over again.

    Loved it.